Where the Love Light Gleams
by pandorabox82
Summary: As Penelope decorates her office for Christmas, she reminisces about the people she's lost along the way, either to death or finding a new place to live. A surprise visitor has her rethinking about what home is for Christmas.


Penelope sang along to The Waitresses as she struggled to put the star on top of her Christmas tree. She had started decorating the minute the clock struck midnight on Black Friday, knowing that she didn't need to worry about going shopping, since she could get better deals online that year. That had continued on for the next three weeks, both at home and in her office, along with Rossi's office, since she knew that he liked her decorating, even if she did go a little over the top with everything. But she had saved her tree at work for last, knowing that there was something special about this tree. Only two people knew that she decorated this tree with ornaments that reminded her of those that they had lost along the way, and Rossi was the only one still with the BAU with that knowledge.

Finally, she managed to get the star in the right position, and she stepped back to take a look at her handiwork, sighing sadly to see that the ornaments she had chosen for Erin and Alex had somehow ended up together right under the star. Penelope reached out and ran her fingers along the outline of the delicate glass bulb. She had been shopping in an antique store shortly after Erin's death and found the bauble buried in the back of the shop. The deep purple colour of the ball, with its elegant golden scrollwork, had reminded her so strongly of the woman that she knew she had to add it to the tree, and had managed to haggle the price down a few dollars as well. Alex's ornament had been found on a trip to Frankenmuth, Michigan, and she had instantly thought of the woman the moment her eyes lit upon it.

She reached out to touch the spun glass angel, only to hear someone clear their throat. "I swear, I've never met anyone as festive as you, Penelope Garcia." Turning her head, Penelope grinned to see the woman she had been thinking of standing there in her doorway, a soft smile on her lips.

"And this is only my office. You should see my apartment!" Stepping away from the tree, she beckoned Alex over to her side, holding her arms out expectantly. Penelope knew that the woman wasn't the hugging type, but she hoped that this close to the holidays, she might be a little more open to receiving one from her. Alex's smile trembled a little before she closed the distance between them and allowed Penelope to pull her into a hug. She had expected the embrace to last only a few seconds before Alex pulled away and she would be able to ask why she was there, but to her shock, the woman tightened her arms around Penelope's waist as she buried her face into her shoulder. The hug stretched on for ages, and it took a moment to register that Alex was crying quietly, the tiny quivers of her shoulders the only indication of her tears. "Hey, hun, what's wrong?"

Alex didn't loosen her grip on Penelope, instead turning her head so that her face was facing Penelope's neck. "James left me. Two weeks before Christmas, he informed me that there was someone else, that he had been seeing her for three years behind my back, and that I didn't have to worry about having caught something, since he had been running monthly blood tests to screen for anything. I had to get out of Boston, and you were the first person I thought of turning to."

The soft torrent of words broke Penelope's heart, and she nodded a little as she began to guide them over to her sofa, pulling Alex down onto it as gently as she could before bundling her close once more, running one hand up and down her back in gentle circles. "He's a bastard."

"I know."

"I can destroy his credit and social media profiles, if you want me to."

"No?"

"Okay. But if you change your mind, I'll just need your word, and I'll do it. Because no one hurts my friends and walks away unscathed." Alex let out a watery chuckle as she nodded before letting out a heartwrenching sigh. "So why did you come to me?"

"Because you're safe. I don't have a lot of friends, mostly acquaintances, but I just knew that you would hold my heart softly." Alex pulled away from Penelope to look down into her lap. "I had nowhere else to turn."

"Oh, sugar, I am so glad that you turned to me. I was actually planning to head home for the day, since Alpha team is coming home later this evening. I just needed to finish decorating the office tree, and since the star is now up, we can go home. I hope that you brought your bag, because you are not staying in a hotel when you can bunk with me for as long as you need."

"Penelope…"

"What? You need a safe, gentle, space to land, and my breasts are great pillows." She knew that she was teasing her, but she wanted to see Alex give her a true smile before they left. A choked laugh slipped from her lips before she did give her a tender smile. "Did you drive or fly here?"

"I took the train, actually? So I don't have much luggage, just my purse and a suitcase. James said that I could keep the house, that he wouldn't press that issue, so I didn't bring too much. That's also why I'm barefaced. I must look…"

"Absolutely beautiful? Because you do. Heartbreakingly so, but still beautiful. Here, let me hug you once more before we head out. I want to make certain that you can keep that smile on your face until we get back to my apartment." Alex gave her a small nod before falling back into her arms and rubbing her cheek against the material of Penelope's cardigan. "I will be here to hold you until you feel like you can stand being along once more. And you're staying for Christmas. I was just planning on heading over to Derek and Savannah's, anyway, and I'm certain that you could come along, too."

"Okay." That word was said so softly that she almost missed it, and Penelope let out a brief sigh before pressing her lips to the crown of Alex's head. "As long as you allow me to help with the household while I'm visiting. I don't want to feel like I'm a burden."

"You could never be a burden on my, sugar. But if you want to help, I won't say no." She kissed Alex's head once more before helping her to her feet and grabbing her purse out of the desk before taking hold of her hand and guiding her over to the door. "So, tell me about how your classes are going at Harvard. I rather like being able to say that I have a friend who teaches at such a prestigious university."

Alex shook her head a little as they walked down the stairs, and Penelope waved to Anderson as they passed by his desk. "Oh, Doctor Blake, don't forget your suitcase!" he called out, getting up hurriedly from his chair and wheeling the case over to their sides. "It's nice to see you back here again. Don't stay away so long!"

"I'll try, Anderson." She took the handle of the case from the younger man's hand, giving him a small smile before taking hold of Penelope's hand once more as they went out to the elevators. "I'm not usually a touchy-feely woman, Penelope. I just find myself so adrift that I need something to anchor myself to the here and now."

"I completely understand that. When I was shot, JJ told me that she couldn't stop touching other people, either. She was afraid that they might leave her, too."

"You were shot?" Alex asked as they stepped onto the elevator, and Penelope nodded as she pressed the button for the ground floor. "When did that happen?"

"Shortly after Rossi came out of retirement. I had some bad habits, and they came back to bite me in the ass. I'll show you my scar after we change into pyjamas tonight. It's a good reminder that no matter what life throws at us, sometimes we're strong enough, and lucky enough, to survive. And that's how I know you'll survive this bullshit that James pulled on you so close to Christmas." Alex gave her a tiny nod before stepping a little closer to her as more people got on the elevator. Penelope couldn't help but smile a little wider as Alex's hand tightened around hers, and she squeezed back, letting her know that she wasn't going to let go until Alex was ready to let go.

It was nice to have another person's hand in hers as they walked to her car, and she smiled softly as she popped the trunk so Alex could put her case inside. "Do you think that we could go out for lunch? I haven't really eaten since breakfast. Two days ago."

Penelope tried to keep her face neutral, even as she felt a flicker of anger rise in her chest for the way that James had made his wife feel. "What do you feel in the mood for?"

"For you to decide. Nothing sounds good, but I know that I should probably eat something soon before something bad happens."

She nodded and then stepped in close to Alex as she closed the trunk, reaching out the cup her face with her free hand. "I am so glad that you chose to come to me now, then. Because someone needs to take care of you. Do you mind?" Alex caught her lower lip between her teeth before shaking her head a little, and Penelope licked her lips before leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to Alex's cheek. "I will try my hardest to make certain that nothing bad happens to you while you're here, and maybe for longer, if this visit turns out the right way."

Alex smiled hesitantly, though the expression didn't quite reach her eyes, giving Penelope a tiny nod. "I could truly use a friend, a true friend, Penelope." And then, to her shock, the woman kissed her in return, not on the cheek, but a brief peck of her lips. There was something so sweet about that gesture, and Penelope couldn't stop herself from enclosing her in a hug once more.

"I would be so honored to have you as my friend, Alex." She let go of the woman and gently pushed her towards the car door. It wasn't until Alex was getting into the vehicle that she found herself able to move as well, scurrying over to the driver's side door and getting behind the wheel. As she drove to her favorite comfort restaurant, knowing that Alex needed some good food in her before she got her settled on the sofa. "So, I hope that you like Greek food."

"It's not my first choice, but if that's where you want to eat, I'd be fine with that."

"I was teasing, I remember that you don't care for that, but that sushi was your downfall. There's this totally not authentic, but still delicious, sushi restaurant near my apartment. Everything is on a conveyer belt, and you pick up what you want to eat. There's a menu for cooked or specialty dishes, of course, but I rarely use that, not that I've settled on my favorites."

"That sounds perfect." Alex lolled her head over to look at her, and Penelope gave her a soft little grin as she nodded. "How do you remember that about me, though? It's been almost eight years since I was part of the team."

"It was one of those little commonalities between us that I held onto. See, I knew that you didn't truly care for me at first, that I was just an annoying gnat buzzing around your head. We started off on the wrong foot, and no matter how much I tried to fix that mistake, I feel like it always colored our working relationship. It was only at the end, with Reid getting shot, that I made real headway with you. It didn't stop me from trying to find an inroad, so I ferreted away ever random bit of trivia about you that I could. I know, that's rather pathetic, but it's also what helped me grow closer to Rossi. He didn't much care for me, either, when he first came out of retirement. But I wore him down. That, or he just grew to like my cleavage. I mean, we both know that he definitely had a one-track mind when it came to certain attributes."

That elicited a loud laugh from Alex, and she grinned in response, glad that she had made the woman happy, even if only for a moment. "That is definitely true. I did catch him checking out my chest once or twice when I was wearing something a little tight. Though I think that he was trying to cover up the fact that he was seeing Erin by playing the lech."

She giggled and nodded as she pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. "And now he has Krystall to occupy his time."

"Ugh, don't remind me. I received an invitation to the wedding, but was relieved when I couldn't make it. I'm sorry, but anyone who spells their name like that just seems like too much of the wrong person for Dave. The right person for him can't be brought back into his life, though." The air in the car turned sad, and she slipped one hand off the wheel to cover Alex's knee before pulling into a parking spot and turning the car off. "I just really miss her, Penelope. Especially around this time of year. The ghosts of my past are rather loud at Christmas."

She nodded before squeezing Alex's knee softly. "I understand that, too. Because mine are especially loud this time of year as well." Alex turned her head to look into her eyes, and she saw that the woman was once more near tears. "But, we need to eat before we allow ourselves to get too maudlin." Alex dipped her chin a little in agreement, and Penelope grabbed her purse from the floor before getting out and waiting for Alex to join her by the entrance. It took a beat longer than she had anticipated, but then Alex was joining her, taking hold of her hand once more as they went inside. "Table for two please," she told the host.

"Right this way."

She tugged Alex along after her as she followed the young woman towards the back of the restaurant. Once they were seated, she handed over the menu to Alex, just in case she wanted to order something from there before taking a look at what was coming past them on the conveyer. "Ooh, this is going to be a good day," she said as she gave the woman a broad wink. "All my favourites appear to be on the conveyer. And don't worry about what you get, today is on me. It's the least I can do for my sweet friend."

Alex snorted as she shook her head, not lifting her head up from the menu. "I am anything but sweet, Penelope. You should know that by now. If I were a fruit, I'd be a lemon."

It was Penelope's turn to snort, and Alex gave her an askance look. Blushing, she knew that the woman wanted to know why she found that funny, and she also knew that there was no good way to explain without thoroughly embarrassing herself. "Yes, I'll take a pot of the green tea, please," she told the server who had walked up at just the right time.

Alex put in her own beverage order, along with an order of dumplings before fixing her eyes on Penelope once more. "All right, you need to tell me what you found so funny about my calling myself a lemon. Because that doesn't seem very funny on the surface."

"You're right. But if I tell you this, I'm going to reveal some very personal information about myself, so please, be gentle?" She looked away from Alex to snag her favorite dish off the conveyer belt, removing the lid and snapping apart her chopsticks before picking up the first piece and stuffing it into her mouth.

"I won't hold anything against you, Penelope. I promise."

She darted her gaze over to Alex, seeing the kind look on her face and took a deep breath. "All right, to be honest, I'm surprised that you aren't familiar with the term, what with you being a linguist and all. So, back in the day, I used to read and write a lot of fanfiction to blow off the creeping tentacles of anxiety that I was going to get caught. Being the Black Queen had some faults, even though I was treated like a goddess by the man who recruited me into the hacking group I ran with. And one of the categories of writing was called lemons. They were spicy stories, to use a general euphemism. Please, don't ask me to elaborate?"

She could see that Alex was blushing as deeply as she was and nodded to the server when she sat the pot of tea down between them, grateful for the distraction. Wrapping her fingers around her mug, Penelope filled it with the tea before bringing it to her lips and taking a careful sip. "I take it that there were other descriptors to go along with these stories?"

"Yeah, we had our own little language back then. I'm assuming that terms have shifted in the ensuing years, since all language does that. Have you really never encountered the fandom language before?"

Alex shook her head before taking her own sip of tea. "No, but it sounds fascinating. I'm certain another linguist is already looking into that line of research, and now I know what to look for when I need a new piece of the linguistic field to explore."

"I'm glad that I could bring you something new in your field to look into. I guess I'm good for something."

"I'd say that you're good for a lot of things, Penelope." There was a tenderness to those words that caught her attention, and she allowed her features to soften as she ate another piece of sushi. Alex glanced over at the conveyor belt, picking up a matching dish to eat as a comfortable silence fell between them. "Are you still with Sam?"

"It really has been a long time since we talked! No, I was seeing Luke for a while most recently, but that went nowhere quickly. And between Sam and Luke, I was seeing Colleen." She waited for Alex's response to that particular piece of information, not knowing why Alex's opinion would matter to her so much, but it did.

"Erin and I saw each other for a few months, when we were young."

"Ah." That nugget of information truly explained a lot of the baggage that had existed between the two women, and she reached across the table to pat Alex's arm. "What was that like?"

"Beautiful. Magical. Language should be my friend, but it still fails me when it comes to describing that time with her." Silence once more spread over them, and Penelope found her thoughts drifting towards something less than chaste with regards to Alex and Erin. "And I suppose that now I'm free to explore that side of myself once more. Once I fell for James, I knew that he was the one for me, and then we had Ethan, and life just fell into a sweet pattern. Losing our son led to our long-distance relationship, and that worked for a time, and then he was home again. And now he's made a new home with someone else, and I'm alone."

The dumplings arrived, and Alex was quick to snag one, as if she needed the buffer of food between them in that moment. "But you're not alone, Alex. You have me. We're going to be friends, after all." Alex gave her an almost broken look, and Penelope tried to smile encouragingly at her as she snagged a dumpling for herself, winking at the woman before grabbing another plate of sushi off the conveyor. "So, to put a smile on those pretty lips of yours, do you want to hear a story?"

"What sort of story?"

"About me and Erin." Alex gave a hesitant nod. "Oh, it's nothing like that, we would never be close enough to even think about kissing, let alone end up in bed together. Even though she was gorgeous, just not my type. I prefer brunettes." Alex blushed a little before eating another dumpling. "So, before Rossi came out of retirement, at Erin's insistence I must add. Oh, she blustered on and on about how she had no choice, and that the brass wanted him, but…he was not Hotch's first choice to replace Gideon, nor was he the Director's choice. The things you find out when you're a technical goddess. Anyway, there was this horrible case in Wisconsin, where I learned just how much force it takes a man to chisel through the sternum of a woman to carve out her heart, and Erin had to go along, since Gideon was fired, Hotch was on leave, and Emily was quitting, and she called me for information. Only, I thought it was Derek calling me. You know the banter we have. Erin didn't, and when I asked her to talk dirty to me, she did not take it well."

"You asked that of her?"

Penelope nodded, before shrugging a little. "I thought that I had seriously fucked up, Alex, and that I was going to get a write up at best, or be suspended for a day at worst. Instead, after the team returned from the case, I found a bar of soap on my desk, along with a short note that told me I needed to think about cleaning up my mouth when on the phone."

Alex giggled as she nodded. "That was Erin to a T. Did you realise that she was teasing you?"

"Not in that moment, it took until Haley was murdered to see behind the mask that she liked to wear at work, and that's when things fell into place. I wish that I had had the opportunity to know her as well as you did. She must have been an amazing friend and lover."

"She was. I'll tell you stories of my own, when my heart feels more up to it. I hope that you understand."

"Of course! Take your time. I'm just glad that you're home this Christmas."

"Where the love light gleams?" Alex asked softly.

"Yes," she replied, just as softly, smiling at her tenderly. "Now, we need to focus on eating before heading to my apartment, because I have the feeling that you want to sleep." Alex nodded a little as she reached out across the table to clasp Penelope's hand. "If you keep looking at me like that, I might just have to make you stay forever. And you have a life in Boston, one that I won't take you from, not when you have tenure. So you're just going to have to come home on semester breaks. All right?"

"All right. That does sound nice."

She chuckled at the deliberate word choice, and squeezed Alex's hand. "Nice, huh?"

"Yes. And I mean that in the modern usage of the word." They nodded to each other in understanding, and Penelope felt her heart thump in her chest a little as she drew her hand back to pick up her chopsticks once more, digging into the food in front of her as she listened to Alex begin to talk about the etymology of different words related to nice. There was something so soothing about hearing her voice become so passionate about what she clearly loved, and Penelope couldn't wait to see where their friendship would eventually lead.


End file.
